1. They’re obsessed with how to commit the perfect murder. 2. They often stare into space for no reason. 3. They never dangle their participles for fear of being arrested. 4. They know a tad too much about poisons. 5. They know more sexual positions than the professionals. 6. Their ideal work environment is a stretch in solitary confinement. 7. Their favorite saying is, “Kill your darlings.” 8. Many are actively lobbying congress to declare coffee a basic food group. 9. They know how much C-4 it takes to blow up a mid-sized Chevy. 10.Anything (ANYTHING!) you say or do could appear in their next book.