Today we welcome world-renowned doctor and researcher in the field of Writer’s Dissociative Disorder, Dr. Ann Teek, to the studio. And can I just say, as a writer with a family who worries about me, I’m thrilled to be able to offer the expertise and insight Dr. Teek has to offer to all of us writers and our families? There is hope. As an introduction, I’ve included the blurb hot off the cover of Dr. Teek’s new book, The Writer Within, Without, and Withheld. “Do you have a writer in the family? Does he or she seem withdrawn? Lost? Embarrassing? Don’t worry, help is here. Join us in this incredible journey through the writer’s mind where we will explore the devastating and often misunderstood behavioral anomalies writers and their families face everyday.” [*The following is a transcript of the actual interview done in the famous Hot Pants Studios where the award winning Girls Gone Wild videos are sometimes, but not always nor often, edited for sound quality.] DJ: Thank you so much for being here with us today, Dr. Teek. DR. TEEK: You are most velcome. DJ: Can you tell us what the title of your new book means? DR. TEEK: No idea. Ze editor, she chose it. DJ: Oh, of course. Can you please explain what your research is about and how you plan to help the families of, well, writers? DR. TEEK: Writers are a particular kind of problem for society in general but more importantly, for deir families. Dey are embarrassing and impossible to live vith. DJ: Wow, that’s . . . harsh. DR. TEEK: I call it like I see it. DJ: Okay, so what do writers do that’s so embarrassing? DR. TEEK: You can’t go anyvere vid dem. Dey are talking and talking and suddenly, poof! Dey are staring off into space. It is tisconcerting to everyone around dem. DJ: We have a lot on our minds. DR. TEEK: Yah, like bad hair. DJ: Well, you’re a writer, right? DR. TEEK: Vut are you getting at? DJ: You wrote a book. Doesn’t that make you a writer? DR. TEEK: I’m not dat kind of writer. DJ: Well, your accent’s stupid. DR. TEEK: Vut? DJ: Your accent. You’re from freaking New Jersey. You visited Germany once for like two minutes. DR. TEEK: It vas a fery inspirational fisit. DJ: You’re an idiot. DR. TEEK: Look, to you know how hard it is to be taken seriously in dis profession? You must have an accent! Germans sound smart. DJ: You’re not German! DR. TEEK: Vell, your book is stupid. DJ: You don’t even . . . what? DR. TEEK: Your book. Who is going to believe a grim reaper as a private investigator? De idiocy astounds me. DJ: You haven’t even read my book. I doubt you even know how to read. What are you doing? Stop it. Stop it. Let . . . let go of my hair. DR. TEEK: Who’s de idiot now? DJ: For the love of god, drop the freaking accent! This interview was brought to you by Wiener World, where wieners rule.